14 August 2010



I know I've been a little MIA in the past few days, but I've been going through a mini break-up with my ex. Honestly I really thought this time would be different for us. We've been back and forth, off and on for 9 years now and I can't tell you how many nights I spent praying that he and I could get back together and be what I know we could...happy in love.

Unfortunately, Life and Destiny aren't always something we can predict or force to happen. I was making plans to move him to FL to help him get back on his feet and give him a chance to make something of himself and be a better person, but of course he was lying to me and when I called him out on it he lost it. We've fought before but not like this and I definitely think that since he is in a desperate situation, our fight only added fuel to the fire and sent a message to him that he has absolutely no one on his side.

Completely untrue! I've been there through all of the lies, betrayal and deceit and still wanted to be with him. It's funny how love can force you to dream the impossible and wish the unthinkable. Right now, all I can think about is what if I never approached him about what I thought he was lying to me about? What if he did move here and we were together? Would he still be the same person he's always been? A liar! A cheat! Someone who's been hurt and doesn't know how to give love, true love, back in return?

Shontelle - Impossible

That's the other funny thing about life...you'd never know the "what ifs"...Oh well! Chocolate cupcakes will be my drug while I detox off of his. This song pretty much explains my feelings and is all that is on my iPod - constantly on repeat. So...here's to hoping the Impossible!

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